Why do you wish to rekindle your relationship?

This is a very important question to ask. The clearer you are as to why you want to rekindle your relationship the easier it becomes to introduce effective change. It will help you to try to clarify what you are hoping for. Do you want the other person to change some behavior? Do you want both of you to take your relationship to a new level? Do you want to make changes in your career and are not sure how to bring it up? Do you want to rekindle the emotional connection you once had? Or, it could be so many other reasons. If you want to rekindle your relationship you most likely have in mind a feeling between you that you want to recreate. Here is a way to get in touch with what you are yearning for:

As you think about this it might help you to take out pencil and paper and write down what you are hoping for when you say you want to rekindle your relationship. What would your relationship look like if it were rekindled? Rekindling implies a return to feelings that at one time were there between you. What made you feel connected? How have you changed in the intervening years? What is still good about the relationship? In order to introduce change into a relationship it is important to have an idea as to what you want to see happen.

Ultimately rekindling is the art of creating a loving emotional connection between the two people where each feels accepted and valued by the other and where they see each other as having equal worth. Each person has to take responsibility for self and accept that he/she cannot change the other. When you know your reason for rekindling it becomes easier to introduce the right change. Any time one person introduces change the relationship begins to alter.