Want a great relationship? Still struggling to work him (or her) out? Wondering why it’s all going wrong, again? Well, read on, as I have 3Ps and 5 quotes about relationships that might, just might change your life – if you allow them to do so, that is.
Naturally, this relationship advice is more for my benefit than yours: you might think it’s a load of old baloney, and all that. As ever listen to what I have to say, see how it feels for you, and use what works – let go of the rest. This is YOUR life, not mine, after all…
So, on with the show!
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” — Morrie Schwartz
Now I have no idea who Morrie Schwartz is (sorry, Morrie!) but he is onto something here with this piece of wisdom, he really is. Learning to let love in and give it out is a job we could all do with committing to more, from now until the day we die.
Most of us just don’t know how to love like this. But any relationship – and I mean ANY relationship – would benefit profoundly if just one person in that relationship was better able to love (and let love in) more.
So how do we do this, Morrie, how do we do this Steve?
Well, these 3 P’s come to mind: Presence, Patience and Power. And I’d like to talk about each of these Ps in turn, to help enable you to make the most out of the relationship you’re in (or to help empower you to make your next relationship as great as it possibly can be)…
* P is for Presence
“We are on a journey of becoming that which we already are. That is the impossible paradox of our lives.” — Leonard Jacobson
Presence is powerful, presence is pleasurable, presence is potent. But more important than all of those Ps, presence is being who we are – in the moment.
When you are present to the work that you are doing right now, for example, you do a better job of work – no distractions, no day-dreaming, just dedicated and focussed actions. Now.
When you are present to your feelings that are swirling round you right now, you do a better job of being you – you notice your moods more (good or bad), and are much less prone to acting from them (especially the bad ones).
And when you are present to your lover, your spouse, your mate, they feel the full force of your attention, your energies… your presence!
Presence is understood by many, but it eludes all – most of the time, anyway. Presence requires checking back in, moment by moment by moment. Presence is you being You, and it’s a mighty powerful aphrodisiac for all that is enjoyable in life.
Presence lets you truly Be Yourself, and there can be no more powerful force in your world than you being yourself!
* P is for Patience
“Infinite patience brings immediate results.” — Wayne Dyer
Oh to be infinitely patient, to know that what you want will come if only you would wait long enough! Hard stuff to do, make no mistakes, but we could still get started, couldn’t we, with being MORE patient.
After all, that person you love with all your heart – are they not doing their best right now; do they not love you, too, with all that they are?
How beautiful would it be, then, to give that person some space; to let them grow into the person you know that they are, no pressure – just space.
The power of a silent moment, if you will, placed on top of another silent moment, then another, and another…
Patience is such a nurturing force – it enables ALL who take part in it, all who play along. Can anything be more powerful than to ‘say it once, and leave it alone’? Can anything have more presence? Can anything have more potential?
Patience. Potent patience. Practice it now, if you like, on yourself – be patient with your impatience, and see how freeing it is to feel that space. Then imagine how your partner would feel from receiving such a blessed gift.
* P is for Power
“What you are looking for is what is looking.” — St. Francis of Assisi
It’s a funny thing about power, but most of us do not realise just how powerful we really are. And I’m not necessarily referring to Spiritual Power here – Who We Really Are – just hum-drum day-to-day personal power, fully realised, is enough to change the dynamic in any relationship, is enough to wake things up a little.
What do I mean, here? Well, I mean that incessant arguing, that ‘having a go’, that irritates you so much, is merely an admission of feeling powerless by the other person. Yes, our irritations are an admission that this matters to us, and we feel powerless to do anything about it, so we do what can, instead: we lash out.
And why does this realisation matter? Well, it helps you to realise that the conflict, or disharmony, or whatever it is that’s the ‘issue’ in your relationship is actually a cry for help, rather than a direct attack on you because you are not worthy.
You ARE worthy, and they feel frustrated, frightened, feeble. (Or it might be the other way round.) You are being attacked (or you are doing the attacking) because they (you) feel less powerful than you (them).
It means it’s time to wake up to the power that you can exert here, it’s time to stop feeling the victim and realise that you have much more say in this conflict-filled scenario than you had at first imagined.
This realisation of powerlessness on their part tells you that the answer lies in you exerting your (loving) power, wherever you can find it, rather than in putting your energies in defending yourself.
You are powerful, and – yes – You Are Powerful too. Use your powers wisely, understand them, and you will enable any flailing relationship to be more than it currently is.
“Being in a relationship is a full time job, so don’t apply if you are not ready.” — Unknown
This last inspirational relationship quote might sound a bit harsh, but it does make a fair point. As I hope I’ve shown above, though, the ‘work’ involved isn’t going to cost us too much.
In fact, practicing these 3 Ps in our everyday life as well as in our relationships could quite probably make our life as great as it could be, too.
Presence allows for the new, whether it’s a new moment or a new aspect in a person – there simply can be no boredom when presence is present. Power is attractive in both man and woman, especially when that power is simply being who you are. And patience allows presence and power to do their thing, when they are ready to be received…