Divorce is the unfortunate end of many marriages today. But after the dust from the divorce has settled, you do have to get on with your life. So how long should you wait to date and get involved in a new relationship after the divorce?
It would be great if there were a simple answer to this question, but unfortunately, there isn’t. Everyone is different and people heal in their own way, and at their own speed. Regardless of how quickly and efficiently you heal, there are several factors which you have to consider before you can make this decision.
First, was your marriage an easy, mutual exit or was it a torturous disaster? This is going to determine a lot. If you had an easy divorce (as easy as can be expected considering the fact that it is a divorce), then you are fortunate. This more than likely means you will be ready to move on more quickly than if were a difficult divorce. But if the divorce was an ugly, vicious and bitter fight right up to the very end, you will need sufficient time to heal. How long? That depends.
You need sufficient time to heal before you begin another relationship. If you don’t take the time to heal, you will be taking a lot of unnecessary baggage into a new relationship and this will mean trouble. This isn’t fair to you or the other person.
Anytime you begin a new relationship it needs to be from a fresh start without being tainted with bitterness or despair. The other person deserves that from you. Without giving it your full attention the relationship risks not having the chance it should have to see if it will blossom into anything.
Also, do you have children? This can be a touchy subject for them to have to endure. It is going to be traumatic enough for them not seeing their other parent around. Give them time to get used to the idea the marriage is over. Then, if they are old enough, sit them down and tell them you are going to be seeing a new friend. This gives them enough information without pushing too much on them too quickly.
It might sound like a cliché, but you will know when you are ready to get back out there. But it needs to be your decision, not anyone else’s. Only you will know when you feel like seeing other people. If you have to talk yourself into it, then it’s too soon.