Even though going through a breakup is never easy, there is always the relief of knowing that, one day, it will all be over and you will have healed well enough to move on with your life. But when your relationship plus the breakup has been particularly painful, it seems as if time has slowed down to a crawl, and its all like a nightmare. So, how long will it take to overcome? It depends.

One factor that affects how quickly you can rebound, is based on what caused the breakup in the first place. If it was a mutual decision, then maybe you were already resigned to the fact things just weren’t going to work out. Some of the healing had even begun before the breakup was officially recognized!

If your partner called the relationship off, maybe you knew the reason; maybe you didn’t. If you had some insight, it will make the relationship and the breakup easier to get past… although the pain will still be there. If, however, the breakup was a result of a major discrepancy on your partner’s part, such as infidelity, then you are angry, hurt and feel betrayed and deceived by someone who you considered to be very special and close to you. As a result, the healing process will, no doubt, take much longer.

Another factor that will affect the amount of time needed for healing is how serious the relationship was. If you were just getting to know each other, then it will naturally be over quicker than if you had several years invested in it. The more time you had together, the more there is to get over.

The third factor will be what type of person your ex-partner is. If the break up was not a mutual decision, is your ex-partner vindictive? Or will they be willing to accept the decision that was made and move on? If you broke up because of their insatiable jealousy, for example, will they be willing to let it go or will they continue to harass you, opening up the wound over and over again?

The last factor all depends on you and what type of person you are. Do you hold onto bad experiences more than you should or do you have the ability to let them go and move on with your life? If you were hurt, then it will naturally take you longer to overcome. But if you have difficulty letting go of key people in your life, this could be a problem.