Infidelity shatters even the strongest of all relationships, leaving behind trails of guilt, betrayal and anger. Overcoming these emotions can be difficult, at best. Family, friends and a good counselor can be very helpful in overcoming the chaos the couple get to deal with so they can emerge a stronger unit.
One reason why someone strays is bad judgment. Whatever the reason, once infidelity occurs the damage is already done. Nothing kills a person’s self-esteem or trust in the other person or their relationship, like infidelity.
When the initial shock is over, then the couple should examine the roles that each of them might have played in forcing the relationship to slide. For others, infidelity is such a huge weight to bear, leaving divorce as the only viable option.
But the following steps are worth using in an attempt to work through infidelity and save your marriage:
1. First and foremost, divorce is not necessarily the answer because you cannot reinvest in your marriage once it is over.
2. After discovering infidelity, there is going to be many ups and downs through recovery. Be strong through them all.
3. The couple needs to openly discuss what happened.
4. Each person who is at fault needs to be held accountable for their mistakes.
5. There needs to be a commitment from both parties that infidelity should never happen again… not even for revenge.
6. The betrayed spouse should set the recovery timetable for them to both follow. Though the cheater always tends to prefer to lay the past to rest, it is advisable to honor the timetable.
7. The couple need to take the first step forward by forgetting the past, and build a new foundation as partners in an attempt to rebuild the reconnection they once had.
8. The couple needs to take marriage classes or see a therapist. Finding the right connection with a counselor tends to bring the marriage back on track much more easily and quickly.
9. The way to bury the incident is to try to fix things up in a “positive” vibe and try to save the marriage, since infidelity often leads to divorce.
10. A couple who has experienced infidelity should decide what she or he cannot live with, and what energy needs to be reinvested in the marriage to make the relationship work.
It is important to remember getting over infidelity in a marriage is not always an automatic marital suicidal or a marital death sentence, but can be the start of building a strong corner-stone of a healthy family.