Have you been thinking about marriage counseling? Are you asking what happen at marriage counseling?

If you answer yes to one of the questions above, you probably remember times when you and your husband were happier.

Woman that have the problem that you have, and search the net for an answer, might find that beside the traditional marriage counseling (that itself has many different approaches), there are also many alternatives like several e-courses that to have the ability to fix your marriage fast and in low cost of money, and claim for high success rates.

These e-courses of course will not fit or work for any one, and this series of articles will examine the traditional marriage counseling process.

Well here we start:

“What happens at marriage counseling?” – Part A

Marriage counseling (also known or referred to as marital therapy) is a general description of a counseling process to parties in a relationship of marriage, involving a great variety of methodologies that their combination depends on the counselor’s identity and approach.

The counseling process is aimed to solve a specific problem of marriage life (like affairs, love life problems) or to solve general relationship problems (like constant arguments, bad emotions about the relationship history and so on), or a combination of a specific problem and other general problems.

You must always remember that the counseling is a relationship of three people: you, your husband or your therapist/counselor.

This is a little tricky because many couples find themselves in a position that one of the partners is having a common language and good communication with the therapist and your partner does not. This can affect the whole process and cause problems.

In general, first few meetings of couples with their therapist are dedicated to diagnosis of the problem. The diagnosis itself is actually depends on the counselor methodology.

Here is an explanation:

  • Several counselors focus their attention on relationship dynamics – this approach assume that the behavioral dynamics revealed in the counseling meetings process are the same dynamic patterns that happen at couple’s home, and there for the focus in the counseling sessions is on the dynamic itself. The couple needs to learn to manage the dynamic.
  • Other counselors may focus on deep subconscious and psychological issues, assuming that solving those issues for each one of the individuals, will solve the relationship problem (Freudian therapist).
  • Some counselors combine the above approaches or combine another different theory or other ideas.

Bottom line, there is a great importance to the counselors identity in determine the kind of counseling you will get.

After these first few meetings, the counseling focus on building a safe intimate environment, in which the couple can start talking about real difficulties, needs, emotions and so on.

In order to achieve the creation of this safe intimate environment, counselors might use one or more (combination) of these methodologies (or techniques):

  • systemic coaching
  • psychotherapy
  • psychotherapy
  • communication theory
  • Psycho education
  • relationship education

In the next articles in this series, we will detail these techniques that are listed above, talk about how long should a couple go to marriage counseling, and more.