Jennifer Lopez has enjoyed a successful career as an actress and singer. However, she hasn’t always been successful when it comes to relationships. Here’s what Lopez revealed about the one thing all her relationships have in common.

Jennifer Lopez dreamed of the perfect family from the time she was young

Jennifer Lopez | Leon Bennett/Getty Images
Jennifer Lopez | Leon Bennett/Getty Images

In her book True Love, Lopez says she always wanted a family to call her own. She loved having a career as an entertainer, but another dream of hers was to be a wife and mother. She says she would sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a husband and children. “Being a professional dancer was my dream and I worked hard toward reaching that goal,” wrote Lopez. “But from when I was very little, I would close my eyes in bed at night and imagine that perfect family, with children and a husband who loved me above all else.”

Jennifer Lopez said all her relationships had 1 thing in common

In her book, Lopez takes time to reflect on her life and relationships. She says she used to approach her love life with an energy that worked well when it came to work and physical fitness but not with love. She says she noticed all her relationships had one thing in common. There was a “passionate intensity” that she thought was true love, but she soon realized passion and love aren’t the same thing.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a few serious relationships. Each relationship was different, and each relationship had its issues. But there was one thing they all had in common: They all had a passionate intensity that I mistook, every time, for my happily ever after. In each relationship, I thought my childhood fairy tale was coming to life, and that was all that mattered to me at the time.

Jennifer Lopez, True Love

Jennifer Lopez said the ‘adrenaline rush’ of a new relationship can cloud objectivity

For Lopez, the rush of new love was intoxicating. She says it was sometimes difficult for her to remain objective and move beyond that ‘new love’ feeling. She said the only way it’s possible to tell the difference between passion and real love is to know who you are. Here’s what Lopez said about the time in her life when passion took over:

I was lucky—or unlucky—enough to be with men who were really intense about their feelings for me. They did some crazy things, and I mean crazy things. Like releasing hundreds of doves outside my window, buying me a Bentley (or two), giving me rare diamonds, throwing me giant parties, or sending me private jets to sweep me off somewhere. I’m talking about grand gestures of love, passion, or whatever you want to call it. And I loved it. It was intoxicating when it was happening.

Jennifer Lopez, True Love

Lopez says she was blinded by the grand gestures and the gifts from some of the men she dated. She also says she confused their passion for true love. “Passion is a pendulum that swings both ways,” wrote Lopez. “As beautiful as it can be, it can also get very intense. Yet, through thick and thin, I chose to stay in those relationships. Because how can you turn your back on a love so big, so amazing, so real? The problem is, it wasn’t real love; it was passion. I just didn’t know the difference yet.”

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