I Still Think About My Affair Partner | Is That Wrong?

There’s a reason so many readers responded and resonated with my article on being a lover. Does we need relationship counseling?


Marrying affair partner?

It’s because affairs take place in the lives of all kinds of people, from all walks of life. Affairs don’t just happen between bad or evil people.

These intimate interactions with others, however sinful or cruel others may perceive, still have meaning. Affairs can have a great impact on people’s lives, even after a long time.

I was with my partner for 4 years, intermittently.

Sometimes I still wonder where she is. From time to time I wonder if he ever thinks of me. I wonder how he has aged after a decade. I wonder if she felt sadness, joy, or regret at how things turned out and ultimately ended between us.

I wonder if he is still married to the same woman, and if so, is he still betraying her? Still excited about chasing the next best thing?

Marriage and relationship counseling better than marrying affair partner.

I wonder if he has found some kind of redemption in his life, or if he has acquired some kind of ability to reflect on his own actions.

When I think of the damage done, the mess left behind by the affair I was involved in, I am still amazed at the audacity of the fool I once was.

I shake my head as I remember how easily I gave in to all of his demands, all of his whims. It comforts me to know that I have finally broken the spell, the magic and the excitement of a relationship that should never have existed.

Do I regret having the affair?

Not anymore. I have written about it. I have talked about it. I have addressed guilt. There is no rational reason to prolong the self-punishment part of the equation. I’ve been there, done that.

Others have related to my mistakes and it also to my journey of catharsis through writing. It’s like relationship therapy or relationship counseling. He is as human as he seems.


When we discover that those who may seem “together” on the outside are actually a mess on the inside, it truly rings true to one of our most primal instincts, which is to know that someone else like feels what we feel. Knowing that someone else has experienced what we have experienced.

Is it natural to wonder where a person with whom you spent many illicit years entangled in an affair is after so many years? I think so. Is it normal to wonder what your life is like now? Probably.

Now I have a beautiful family, a devoted husband and two beautiful children. But I keep thinking about it. And I still wonder if I have achieved redemption yet. I think I badly need relationship counseling.

But where does true redemption come from?

Perhaps true redemption is simply knowing that you did something wrong in the past, acknowledging it, and realizing that you are doing everything you can now in the present to be a good human being.

My own sense of what redemption means is that you learn to live with others as honestly as you can while still honoring what you actually need for yourself. It is showing your true intentions and admitting when you have made a mistake.

Every once in a while I wonder if she’s at the mall, a restaurant, or a baseball game smiling with his wife or laughing at a joke, like nothing had happened to turn my world upside down. I wonder if he ever thinks about the carnage he created, the remains of bodies he left behind.

All matters, all women. I was just one of many.

Unfortunately, I will never know. All I can do is get on with my own personal life. I cannot force anyone else to seek their own redemption nor can I create it for them.

What is relationship counseling?

Relationship counseling, also called couples therapy or couples counseling, it’s a type of psychotherapy. This type of counseling helps to avoid relationship or after marriage affair and me couples happy.

Does relationship counseling work?


Sometimes we never get answers to those burning questions about ghosts from our past, and very often we don’t really need those answers at all. All we can do is continue to learn from our mistakes, teach others from our mistakes, and keep our eyes focused on our own path forward.

Sometimes we never fully recover from a traumatic relationship, especially one that is shrouded in deceit and pain. However, it is possible to learn to live with the choices you have made in the past and accept the consequences peacefully. And relationship counseling help us.

In the end, we can only seek redemption for ourselves and we can truly receive it from ourselves. And we think relationship counseling really need for us.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being part of an affair, it’s that we can only be responsible for our own choices, our own happiness, and that really moving forward is a choice we ultimately have to make for ourselves.