Feelings of unhappiness, falling in love with someone else, mutual irritation, loneliness, and ingrained patterns; these can come to the fore in a certain phase of your marriage. Signs that may indicate that the passion has largely disappeared from your marriage. Children, work, hobbies or other matters take more and more time and attention and ensure that you no longer have time for your relationship.
But what do you do about this? How can you still save your marriage? Read our tips here!
1. Talk about your needs
The success of a marriage depends on the needs of two people that are met. It is therefore important to find out where the needs of the other lie.
Which behavior of the other person bothers you, and which behavior do you appreciate but don’t see enough? These are things to think about and discuss with each other.
2. Emotional inaccessibility
Many people have unknowingly built up emotional walls that prevent them from ever becoming really close to friends or family. Some people also wear a social mask, also a protection measure that you often do not do well.
This can result in you being completely alienated from each other, even though you have been married for years. If you want to get closer to your partner again, you will have to build mutual trust and open up to the other. This applies to both you and your partner.
3. Deal with your past problems
Many marriages are doomed to fail because of the emotional baggage that brings with them due to past disappointments. Recognize that personal barriers from the past may be the main reason that you or your partner never dare to fully expose themselves to the other.
Sometimes it is a lack of trust that originated in the past and that the person carries on in the current marriage, sometimes a history of fear of attachment and failed relationships preceded the current problems. Try to deal with these problems and help each other with this.
4. Don’t neglect the other
Never think that the other is a kind of piece of furniture, that you can safely let your marriage slip on and that no expressions of love are needed in your marriage. Your partner does not know that you love him or her if you do not say so. It is the intention that you occasionally show that you really care about others.
That is in very small things such as calling during your work just to say hello. Prepare your partner’s favorite meal out of yourself or buy that one thing he or she likes so much. That is what makes your relationship special and without these things, you start to neglect each other.
5. Hide nothing
People who have nothing to hide are honest. Lying, hiding, manipulating and cheating are not the things that you want to occur in your marriage. No person is one hundred percent open, but you can at least make a start. So always try to be an open book to your partner and make sure that he or she knows you through.
6. Does not always want to be right
Try not to prove that you know better than your spouse frequently. Instead, you can try to gain understanding and empathize with your partner. By deciding to be happy from now on instead of being right, you become a lot more pleasant to deal with. Not even just for your partner, but for everyone around you. You will also be better able to have a discussion that does not end in a fight.
7. If your partner does not want to cooperate
Tell your husband or wife his / her resistance or fears, let him or her realize that both of you can achieve a lot more when you work with each other. In case your spouse realizes that he/she is stubbornly doing things constantly, they’ll stop doing that automatically.
8. Marriage requires sacrifice
As in any friendship or relationship, a successful marriage requires sacrifice. Two different people come together, children are added, and then living together under one roof is not always easy.
So don’t be so unrealistic to think that disagreement is a sign on the wall or that you would not be destined for each other if things went in the wrong way. Do not lose yourself in trendy divorce causes’ such as’ We are tired of each other ‘and’ We are slowly growing apart ‘. A marriage requires responsibility. Take it then.
Your marriage can probably be saved, as long as you both open yourself to it. Recognize the problems you have and get started. And most importantly: do this together. Seek help if necessary. You can do this. You just have to find each other again. That is difficult, but you did it once; then you can really do it again.