Christians do experience conflicts in their marriage. It is not some rare ordeal that one should feel shamed by or become overwhelmed with. It is natural and it will happen. The key is dealing with it in a healthy manner so that it will not cause the conflict to grow any larger.
Here are the steps to take to resolve any Christian marriage conflict and avoid having to even consider the idea of divorce:
- Pray. It may sound like the obvious first step, but how many married Christian couples become embroiled in bitterness, anger, and frustration BEFORE they even begin to sit down, find some quiet space, and pray. The act of praying will allow you to center yourself. It will remind you that you are not alone, you have GOD working with you. But you have to work with HIM. You have to sit down, be calm and focus deeply on praying for proper answers on dealing with the conflict at hand.
- Return to the Aisle. This is a method I love. You sometimes will hear the advice when Christian marriage conflict arises, that goes something like this: remember how you were when you were happy. Well I like taking it a step further and recalling the exact moments when you were walking down the aisle with your spouse. All those positive and exciting vibes flowing through you. All the possibilities and “wonderment” for a great future together. It’s still all there. Still possible. You can return to the aisle and start anew. Lick your wounds, settle your ego, hit re-start and remember the true feelings of joy and allow those feelings to overshadow and swallow all the petty conflict of the present.
- Communicate and Work It Out! I was at a public library recently and a man had some words with another man. The other man said “is there a problem?” It seemed like the start of something physical was to occur. Instead the man proceeded, “because if there’s a problem, then let’s find a solution”. And it really is that easy once you take away all the bravado, ego, and bitterness. There is a problem. Recognize there is a problem and then proceed to communicate, find a solution, and work it out!
- Intimacy Issues. This can be a common problem between Christian couples and it can cause some serious riffs in a Christian marriage. Unfortunately intimacy issues are not discussed as openly and as forward as some would like within the church. When there is confusion on issues like “what is allowed”, “how often should we have sex”, and a number of other Christian sex related topics, then there can easily be a rise in aggravation. There are plenty of resources for finding solutions regarding Christian intimacy issues. There are books, seminars, and even finding a Christian based marriage counselor can be an option.