Marriage relationship coaching experiences has made me aware that many husbands do not involve their wives in family financial decisions. I have learned, unfortunately, from these experiences that these husbands feel their wives waste money and could not be trusted with family financial management.
These husbands are quick to state that their wives have no capacity to manage money. The vehemence of these men made me wonder about my own philosophy of involving my wife in all my financial dealings. A cursory look at my financial situation, achievements – material and otherwise – was enough elementary evidence that they are wrong when compared with the situation and achievement of these cases I am acquainted with.
However, I felt that there is a chance that I am not seeing the whole picture as one or two other aspects of my life may have given me the material advantage I seem to have over these men. Some of these are my peers and contemporaries while others are my betters and those below me.
One common denominator among the men who believe that their wives ought not to be involved in family financial management is that they have not that critical combination of some wealth, peace and harmony at home. Where they have more materials than me, they have nothing that could be called a home in the sense of the world. These men prefer spending their times in drinking parlours, hanging out with the other woman or staying back at work long after the close of business; just escape confrontation from their wives.
It would make a great subject for some scientific study to research which family financial management type produce better peace, harmony and wealth for the family.
In my opinion, wives and mothers require practical hands-on experience in family financial management. They would not use any other person’s money to learn that. It would be the money of the family either earned by the husband or herself. Husbands who complain about their wives wasting money would lose in the end if she does not learn how to management money from the beginning by wasting some of your money as part of the learning process. Men waste more than the women. It is a matter of trust. If a woman knows that she is trusted and that her home is indeed her home by the faithfulness of the husband, she would be a champion in all things.
Meanwhile, here are two great reasons why wives and mothers should be given hands on experience in financial intelligence:
· Death – untimely or otherwise: Untimely death is why people take insurance covers. The intent is to ensure that one’s loved ones are not left in bad financial situations after their demise. Experience is indicating that a household needs more than a lot of cash to be wealthy, comfortable or financially secure. Financial intelligence and the skill for the management of money have been found to be critical to what happens with the family finance and over and above the family’s earning power. This thinking agrees with the fact that it is not how much money one makes that make him or her wealthy but how much he or she could save. A man’s wealth, hard work and name could be rubbished by sudden death if his wife has no financial intelligence and capacity to manage money and wealth. All the wealth including insurance money would be frittered away in a matter of months, leaving the whole family in penury. If the wife of the deceased is practised in financial management growing from the trust her husband gave her with financial matters when he was alive, she would do much better with these resources.
· Peace and Comfort at Home: One of the situations of homes where the wife has no financial skill and power is constant squabbles, feeling of insecurity and lack of peace. The worst place to raise children that a man hope would represent his name and place in the society is in a house where the wife and mother is alienated because she is not trusted with finance. In homes where the man is menacingly wealthy and powerful, the woman transfers her aggression on the children and house helps and this takes away the peace and comfort of that home. Where the man is a struggling man who does not know that his family finance would have been better managed by a financially intelligent wife and provides money in bits to the wife to buy soap, fish and a few cups of rice each time, the wife would live with the thought that she is not trusted. She would conclude that the lack of trust is because of the lack of love. She would seek for the love and trust elsewhere and the rest you can imagine.
The common complaint of men who do not want to involve their wives in family financial management is that their wives do not know how to manage money. And my question is – how could she when she is not given a chance? Nobody comes into the world with financial wizardry. The world’s topmost financial wizards have had to learn it through trial and error. Women in the corporate world have proven to be as financially smart as any man.
Regardless of how well you provide for a wife but do not trust her, it would be hard for her to appreciate your love or claim of love for her. The truth is that trust precedes love. It is not possible to love anybody you do not trust and it is better to be trusted than to be loved and women of all cultures know this fact.
One of the most obvious ways to show trust to a woman is by giving her financial latitude. Granted that there could be financial losses in the process, but there is no other way to have a wife or anybody for that matter learn financial intelligence and gain the skill for money management except she or he is managing money and have made one or more mistakes in the process. There is no difference between you and her in the learning process.
Give it a try.