Many times a couple that have broken up get back together to make another go at it. They could be hoping that the time apart has helped heal old wounds. This couple must learn to find a balance between whatever caused them to breakup before and their new found relationship. Below are six things that you should ask yourself to realize if it is a good idea for you to date your ex.
1. Why did the two of you break up? After consideration on who do you place the blame for your breakup? If you think your ex has changed since then, do you think you have changed as well? Let’s say your ex has changed for the better but you have not. Would you be able to keep those unwanted behaviors from resurfacing within you? You may be the biggest issue to the two of you succeeding the second time around. Likewise if you have changed for the better but your ex has not are you prepared to overcome any old issues that may resurface again?
2. Did the two of you just broke up a couple days ago? It would not really be a breakup if the two of keep breaking up and getting back together. If it has been months or a year or two since the break up then you could consider yourselves truly an ex. Now, having broken up a couple days ago for the first time is a breakup but here we are talking about a longer period of time. So if you have been apart for a considerable period of time then you may have better success.
3. So what is different now as compared to before? What has happened since the two of you broke up that makes the chance of a relationship succeeding better now? If things have not changed with either of you a new relationship will eventually end up the way it was the first time around. One or both of you must have done something to improve your life so the problems that were encountered previously will be avoided. If nothing has changed you would be best to not make a commitment just yet.
4. Can you be committed to the new love you have for your ex? The two of you should be able to move ahead with your relationship without falling back into the old patterns of problems you once had.
5. If one of you cheated on the other how can you be sure it will not happen again? This could be a real problem as some people just cannot get over the problem of infidelity. Has the cheater been to counseling for this? What assurance do you have now that all will be fine so another breakup over cheating does not happen again?
6. Could this be a rebound relationship? Could you or your ex have had another failed relationship after your break up? For example you entered into a new relationship which ended and you were looking for a quick way to get back with someone so you contacted your first ex. This type of relationship will generally not work so be aware of the possible consequences. There is the chance of hurt feelings if and when one of you decides to move on again unless you both were aware that this would be short-term from the start.
If you asked yourself these six questions about getting back with your ex and feel comfortable with your answers you can go ahead and proceed. Many couples have reunited and went on with successful relationships. Just make sure you are doing this for the right reasons.