Getting caught cheating is a great way to kill the already limited conversation that takes place in the average marriage. Unfortunately, this is a time when conversation is more critical than any other in your marriage.

The problem, at the moment, is that there is a palpable distance between you. In places where conversation was once so easy, awkward silence now prevails. Talk may be cheap but the lack of meaningful talk right now is killing your chances of a successful second chance.

You need help!

These four great conversation starters will help the two of you start to open up to one another so you can enjoy the casual intimacy that is so important in marriages.

1) Tell me a story. This is a great opener for those nights when you’re both lying in bed and can’t figure out the right words to say to one another. You’re both awake but the night is deadly silent and exceedingly uncomfortable. Roll over and ask your husband or wife to tell you his or her favorite story about when you were dating. When that story is told, return the favor with one of your own. Sharing the memories you built together will remind you both of the good times you had together and be a pleasant reminder of how great things can be between you.

2) What if? Ask your wife what she would do if the two of you could do anything at all without worry over time, costs, or kids? You might be surprised by the answer and she is sure to be surprised by the question. The real key here isn’t in the question, or even her answer, but in the information it gives you about your wife. Even though you probably can’t bring all of her fantasy adventure to life you may be able to fill a small part of it.

3) Do you know what I love most about you? Ask your husband this question and be prepared to offer a rather impressive list of answers. This gets you both looking for each other’s best features (even if he isn’t playing along verbally) and can invite many follow up conversations. It’s a fun way to build a new and positive rapport between the two of you without the tension of a past affair hovering overhead.

4) I dare you! Want to be a little playful with your conversations? How about a friendly game of truth or dare. Keep it all clean (or not so clean if you’ve reached that point and are comfortable with it) and avoid asking the hard hitting questions. You want to reveal things about one another but you do want to keep the mood light. It’s a great way to learn a few fun facts and take a few exciting dares. Just be sure to lay out the ground rules before you get started.